An Unexpected Confidence Boost

Before my wedding, I made the last-minute decision to schedule a boudoir shoot. This is something I put off because quite frankly, I was ashamed of my body. The stress of wedding planning, the grief of losing my heart dog -- It had all taken its toll on me within the same year, and I gained about 40lbs from it. Taking my clothes off and posing didn't sound the least bit like a feel-good activity. But at the end of the day, I knew my wife was happy with all of me, and I wanted to show her how brave that made me feel. When I began researching boudoir photographers, my perspective started to change.

I found striking, empowered women and sultry yet strong poses. These women looked fierce and comfortable in their skin, and confidence beamed through the screen from their eyes. I imagined my results might look more like a kitten next to these lionesses, but it was worth giving it my best roar to get more in touch with my own self-confidence and gratitude for my body. Everything I had been through in my life affirmed that my biggest enemy is myself when I let doubt stand in the way of my happiness, and I was limiting myself based on outdated beliefs. I needed to honor this body that had processed grief with its unique survival mechanisms, and was still so loved and appreciated despite my prior experiences with body shame.

I pursued the experience, and it left me breathless. No better words can describe how I felt than what I wrote about it, here:

I hope you consider boudoir, if not for anyone else, then for you, whether or not you think you have a reason or the body to do it.

If you still need convincing, stay tuned -- I'm partnering with my boudoir photographer on a picture book with stories about the incredible women who have grown their self-love after boudoir.

Xoxo,

Shirin